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View Full Version : Sleazy New Business Idea: Professor Mill


Redlyne Racer
06-09-2005, 07:55 PM
While reading the amusingly insulting "Crapella University Sucks" website I came across a page devoted to a particular Capella professor, Diane Stottlemyer. She apparently obtained her doctorate in Computer Science from Lacrosse University, and perhaps an MS from there as well.
http://www.capellauniversity.org/stottlemyer.html

The page also links to her faculty webpage at Franklin University in Columbus, Ohio, where she is an adjunct professor. Franklin (yes, dear old FU) is an obscure but "real" B&M RA (NCACS) school that also offers "online learning" and boasts of being "transfer credit friendly."
http://www.franklin.edu/FacultyPages/stottlemyerdia

That "limited utility" issue doesn't seem to have been much of a problem for Stottlemyer, since she's managed to land at least two jobs, both at RA universities, with her questionable credentials.

But now, as DL makes doctoral degrees more accessible and more ubiquitous, the competition for professor positions also has increased dramatically. How will the holders of phony degrees be able to compete with real scholars for prestigious faculty jobs?

Most faculty positions require at least two years of teaching experience, but five or ten years is even better. Experienced profs have a clear advantage over the newbies, but how can you get that crucial edge without actually ever having had a teaching job (or maybe any other kind of job) in the past?

The answer: Professor Mills! Completely fake schools that award no degrees, teach no classes, maintain no real facilities. They exist only on the internet, for the sole purpose of resume enhancement for diploma mill grads, grads from crappy RA schools, or those with no teaching experience.

For a modest fee of, say, several thousand dollars, the prospective professor can become a distinguished adjunct faculty member at a prestigious university, complete with faculty webpage to post a CV and picture. For the attractiveness impaired, remedial Photoshop assistance will be available, as well as a complete library of alternate headshots. Now your race no longer needs to be an impediment to participating in affirmative action programs.

Your professorial rank can be increased incrementally, to full professor or even department head, for a further modest fee of several more thousand dollars.

Who would you hire????

http://www.franklin.edu/fachomepages/facpictures/stottlemyer.jpg
Dr. Jane Doe
No teaching experience

http://sorenz.dk/Film%202004/halle%20barry%201.jpg
Dr. Jane Doe
Associate Professor
Gollin State University

Elrond
06-10-2005, 12:25 PM
The Bond-girl from Gollin State gets my vote.

Engr-Rich
06-10-2005, 08:17 PM
For $210 from www.instantdegree.com you can get Professorship!

Dennis Ruhl
06-10-2005, 08:22 PM
Being a realist, if I was looking to get lucky, I would pick the first one.

James Grey
06-10-2005, 11:08 PM
Being a realist, if I was looking to get lucky, I would pick the first one.

I had an aunt once, we called her 'NEIGH' - she was a virgin ... and looked like a horse.

Neil Hayes
06-11-2005, 05:29 AM
I had an aunt once, we called her 'NEIGH' - she was a virgin ... and looked like a horse.

I like that one Peter. Contrary to popular belief, it proves that Australian's do have a sense of humour!

Neil Hayes
06-11-2005, 05:35 AM
For $210 from www.instantdegree.com you can get Professorship!

It was interesting to note that the recently published book on degree mills two of the leading perpetrators of milled degrees - www.instantdegrees.com and www.customdegrees.com - were noticeable by their absence. Has anyone any idea why?